My Lonely Song

I keep trying to find a life

On my own, apart from you

I am the king of excuses

Ive got one for every selfish thing I do

Whats going on inside of me?

I despise my own behavior

This only serves to confirm my suspicions

That Im still a man in need of a savior

I've got to leave you now,

I've got to go alone

I've got to chase a dream,

one that's all my own

Before it slips away

When I'm flyin' high,

I wanna take your heart along

I hope you'll be the harmony

to every lonely song

That I learn to play

When I'm soarin' through the air

Please be my solid ground

If I take every chance I dare

Please still be there

When I come back down

When I come back down

Please keep lookin' up,

awaitin' my return

My greatest fear will be

that I will crash and burn

And I won't feel your fire

Please be the other hand that always holds the line

Connectin' in between your sweet heart and mine

Live Your Prayers Outloud

We read and write so many things in order to portray our message of life to other people. I have written so many things for classes, blogs, or even just for the mere sake of needing to write down my thoughts with the hopes that one day someone will read my words, and be moved. And even still I am doing just that. However, I am writing in a seemingly futile attempt to portray this one small message. This message is to all those other people that sit around writing their experiences in life in an attempt to change someone else's. Stop. You can change another's life by living for God, and sharing that love and life with them through merely actions and spoken words...much more that you could if you just sat around and wrote all the time.

Now I am by no means...and in now way telling anybody to stop writin....that, in my opinion, would be stupid. However, I am saying to you many other members of the daily lonely life that seems as though from the time it starts it leads to the ending of another depressing slow actionless life, to live your prayers out loud. I mean so often we pray that God will take control of something and lead it in His own way. Well I am sorry to tell you...but He already has control over everything in this world, and asking Him to take control of it is, in my opinion only telling Him that you need help with your problem. Instead of asking Him to take control, ask Him for help and then keep your eyes wide open, because most of the time the answer is right in front of you and all you have to do is see it, and do it. However if we are always only watching the problem to see the change that God is going to make and waiting for it to happen we will not see that the majority of the time He hears our prayers and gives us the resources to fix it...but we never see the final outcome and end up living with this problem for what seems like forever.

In order to truly listen to God, and allow Him full control over you life you must realize that He exists in everything that you do; you ask for; you seek; you desire; and most importantly your problems. And when it is time to fix the problems in this world it will take male and female followers of Christ alike to Live Their Prayers Outloud in order for us all to be the change we desire to see in the world.

My Brother-in-law and my new born Cousin....

I am so blessed to have a new family member in my life. It has been almost ten years since a new child has been born into my family and I just wanted to share this with everybody.....

پول هیچوقت ارزش تحصیل را ندارد

Money...never has the same value as an education.

This is a very commonly used proverb in the Persian culture. I think that it was a huge proverb in the Middle East while Christ was alive as well. I wish everyday that Americans as well thought this way. We, as Americans, put so much emphasis on how much money we have that an education can be had by someone and nobody even notice them...while the uneducation rich person can walk into a room and everybody surrounds that person because of it. In Middle Eastern cultures if a rich man and a very highly educated man walked into a room together...and it was known that both were such...the highly educated man would be more respected than the rich man...because an education is more respected on every account than money is. It is a wonder why the majority of our nations law systems...financial systems...community based systems...and even Religions come out of the Middle East. Because they put such an emphasis on their brains rather than their pockets.

Is your brain worth more than your pocket? I think so.

God’s Providence:

God is continually involved with all created things in such a way that He (1) keeps them existing and maintaining the properties with which He created them; (2) cooperates with created things in every action, directing their distinctive properties to cause them to act as they do; and (3) directs them to fulfill His purpose.

One might ask how this definition is God’s Providence.

To this I would answer:God continually maintains our well-being, and the well-being of all created things; He is in direct contact and cooperation with everything He created. He is involved in every action that takes place in the existence of one of those beings. He is the ultimate cause of every action that takes place in the life of that being; and furthermore He directs the actions of every being in accordance with His purpose in order to fulfill His purpose.

One would say then that we do not have a ‘free will’ if God is in control of our every action. To this I would answer that we must then define the words ‘free will.’ People in our infinite knowledge with and pray that we have the ability to make decisions outside of the knowledge and control of God. We are so caught up in ourselves that we forget the point of our existence and of God’s role in our lives; more importantly though our role in relationship to God.

In the sense of our ignorant, conceded being we have no ‘free will.’ We do not have the ability to make decisions outside of the knowledge and will of the LORD. Ephesians 1:11 says, “In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will.” The fact that the word ‘predestined’ is in here has no relevance over the fact that all beings are under His control. It does not have any significance whether or not you are a ‘chosen’ being or not you are under the control of the LORD.

Someone might ask then what does the bible speak about when it uses the phrase “free will?” The bible I would say is talking about our ability to make choices that have ‘real’ effects to the world as a whole, but not to anything outside God’s control. If you decide to do something that causes an action that is the ability given to you by God who ultimately knows the outcome of the decision, the action, and the consequences.

Most people hate this concept because in our arrogant, ignorant minds we have created this notion that we have any ability what-so-ever to be able to create something, do something, or accomplish something that we had control over. And from this we gave ourselves this crazy idea that we are in control of something. From there we came to believe that there is nothing that we ultimately do not have control over. We can’t stand not being in control. I would rather be with God and let God be, then try to be in control over what is ultimately God’s; ME.

Christianity is.....Cheap Grace....Costly Grace

"The Good News means we can stop lying to ourselves. The sweet sound of amazing grace saves us from the necessity of selfdeception. It keeps us from denying that though Christ was victorious, the battle with lust, greed, and pride still rages within us. As a sinner who has been redeemed, I can acknowledge that I am often unloving, irritable, angry, and resentful with those closest to me. When I go to church I can leave my white hat at home and admit I have failed. God not only loves me as I am, but also knows me as I am. Because of this I don't need to apply spiritual cosmetics to make myself presentable to Him. I can accept ownership of my poverty and powerlessness and neediness." (The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning)

I love this passage becasue it reminds me that I am loved.....just the way that I am.....
However....when people leave their discipleship at home with their white hats...they are living by what Dietrich Bonhoeffer calls 'Cheap Grace.'


"Cheap grace means the justification of sin without the justification of the sinner. Grace alone does everything, they say, and so everything can remain as it was before....The world goes on in the same way, and we are all sinners 'even in the best life' (from Luther). Well then let the Christian live like the rest of the world....Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church descipline, Communion without confession, absolution without personal confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate....

"Costly Grace is the treasure hidden in the field; for the sake of it a man will gladly go and sell all that he has. It is the pearl of great price to buy which the merchangt will sell all his goods....Such grace is costly because it allows us to follow, and it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ. It is costly because it costs a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life. It is costly because it condemns sin, and grace because it justifies the sinner. Above all, it is costly because it cost God the life of his Son....Costly Grace is the sanctuary of God; it has to be protected from the world, and not thrown to the dogs. It is therefore the living word, the Word of God, which speaks as it pleases him. Costly grace confronts us as a gracious call
to follow Jesus, it comes as a word of forgiveness to the broken spirit and the contrite heart." (The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer)

You do the math....

For the first time in my life I would like to meet somebody truly real about who they are. People start thousands of small white lies everyday to make themselves seem more interesting then they actually are. There is nothing about keeping a secret, or not telling the whole truth in order to make yourself seem mysterious, that is one small bit cool. I mean there is nothing cool about even thinking about how to make yourself seem cooler than you really are.I once had a friend that was supposed to move in with me in college. He ended up not moving in with me
though because a major event occured in his life. I was so amazed by the fact that something had happened to him that I didn't even really care that he wasn't moving in...I just wanted to know what it was. You see we all went to a small private Christian college and we were all majoring in Theology. So having something big and great happen to you was a truly big thing. So I thought he had gotten a job or something noble like that.

Everytime I asked somebody why he wasn't moving in I was told 'yea man you might just talk to him about it...it's a pretty big deal though. I am really proud of him.' I was almost starting to get pretty angry because I could clearly see that he had asked people not to tell other people what was going on in his life.Well it turned out that he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant and was pretty ashamed about it. But he was making the decision to stop school and move back to her families house in another state to help her with the child. Everybody was so proud of him for making that decision that they didn't even care that he was dropping everything he had committed to in order to follow through with this mistake that he had made. If this had been a random guy on the street not in college everybody would have scolded him for...you know everything. But they wanted to be gentle and loving and caring that they thought not mentioning anything about the sin and immediatley caring for the sinner was the appropriate thing to do. He acted like he was the king of the world, and they both got tons of gifts and everything even know they hadn't done one noble thing since she got pregnant. I hated him forever because of that.

Now if he would have just come straight out and told me and apologized for not being able to follow through with his previous agreement I wouldn't have cared one small bit about it...but he had to try to work the system to see if he could use religion to come out on top. I was and in a small way am still very ashamed to call him my friend.There is another thing that really bugs the shisnit out of me. When I meet somebody that tries to be that person who knows everything about everybody and tells everything in a blink of an eye. I mean I know this guy that always tries to be one step ahead of everybody on what is going on with all of his and your friends. I think that it is a really cool desire to want to know what is going on incase you want to meet up with people. But when a freakin guy just goes around giving off information just because he was to sound smarter and more informed than you because it makes it seem like people like him more than you is a very agrivating thing. Sometimes I just want to run him through.

I can't wait to meet somebody who is not afraid to be exactly who they are and don't care about what anybody else thinks about them. I would befriend...and if it was a woman...marry them immediately.